So most people think being skinny means you have no self confidence issues and life is happy clappy but in actual fact its no different to the next person. We all have self confidence issues at some point in our lives and its not easy to get yourself out of the negative mindset. Believe me I have definetly had some negative thoughts towards myself in an array of different ways. Sometimes I think we forget that everyone has something going on and self confidence is one of those things that I have taught myself to build and become more and more confidennt in who I am. I wanted to write this post not only to show myself how comfortable I am in my skin now but to also show all of you lovley lot that youre not alone and there are ways of helping yourself be more confident with the skin your in.
I’m going to begin with the one thing that we all struggle with and that is…
Now sadly there is no switch that allows us to turn on our body confidence and be able to instantly feel good all day every day. That would be impossible.
Body confidence begins with accepting yourself and accepting your body. This is something that I have really struggled with over the years and being a tiny person really doesn’t help. For you to understand why being tiny is difficult i’ll have to do a little story time with you…
When I began secondary school, I didn’t really think anything of myself over than the fact that I was so incredibly shy and I always needed to be with someone and never be alone. It wasn’t until I got to maybe year 8/9 when boobs started to be a thing and I didn’t have any. I had something growing there but it was taking its time thats for sure. I remember refusing to wear a cotton bra, it had to be a padded bra. The thought of people knowing I had little boobs was the worst thing in the world. In a way I guess I thought it was a bad thing to have small boobs….which its 100% not because mine are the same size they were in year 9! Along side this, It was the time when all the popular girls started shopping in what I thought was a grown up shop…..that being shops like Topshop. Me being the petite person I am, realised that I couldn’t actually fit into Topshop. I was too small. At the time I don’t think Topshop had petite and if they did, I didn’t know it existed. Everything was too big for me. I still had to buy jeans from Tammy. I began to worry about my size and why I was so small and why I couldn’t fit into all these great clothes. It wasn’t an easy time. Being tiny wasn’t a thing, It was great for people giving you so called complements like ‘omg you’re so skinny, I wish I was skinny’ but they mean absolutely nothing. Effectively its a comment stating that you’re skinny, something you most likely already know. This is when I then started hating my arms, thinking they were too skinny. I still to do this day hate my arms and still think they’re sticks but I accept them as thats just me. I also at one point started doing leg exercises because I thought my legs were fat. They weren’t, it was just all down to wanting to be like someone and wanting to have amazing legs.
The moral of the story here is that I have had many insecurities about myself, usually to do with being super skinny. I have always been a petite skinny person but it comes with its challenges. I still to this day struggle to find things to fit. I often have to buy a size 4 just to fit my waist and sometimes even that can be too big. Its not that I am ill or that theres something wrong with me. It’s just me and its something that I cannot change about myself.
Body confidence is something you have to teach yourself in a way. Its about standing there in the mirror and being like, this is me. Then thinking about what you don’t like…be it your legs or your tummy or your arms, whatever it is. Can you do anything about these things? Would it make you feel better if you did something about it? Then its all about focusing on the things you do like. It could be your waist as it really brings you in or it could be how great your legs look in a mini skirt or perhaps its your collar bone. Pick out the good bits and work with those. The bits you don’t like you can work on too but its all about accepting that the way you are is the way you are. Your body is yours and no one else’s. A model has a model body because they were born to be a model. You have you body because you were born to be you.
BELIEVING IN YOURSELF
Once you’ve got your body confidence down, its all about self belief. Believing you look fabulous in that outfit, believing you can get that dream job, believing that you are amazing and that you can do anything.
Believing in yourself is something that will increase your self confidence a huge amount. If you know you can do it and you know that you’re fab who cares about what that girl you work with says about you or that girl at school who said something mean. If you feel great and believe that you’re great, you will be great. I know that this isn’t the easiest thing to do but its something that you can work on and remind yourself to work on.
I really struggle with self belief and often don’t think I’m good enough. I have these moments every month but its taking the good things out of what your doing or just life that bring you out of these moments. For instance you go out on a night out feeling like an absolute 10 and hoping someone will come up to you but no one does and you instantly think I’m nothing, I’m ugly but then when you think about the good things such as how fab you felt in that dress and what great night you had, it kinda gets rid of those thoughts and then you start to think well I looked amazing and who finds their husband in a club anyways. Not a very exciting story to tell the grand children is it….not that meeting your boyf/husband in a club is a bad thing…its just about making yourself feel better.
Believe in yourself and believe you can do anything and that you look great. It makes life so much better and happier. Like I said I don’t often believe in myself but when believe it, often good things come along.
CONFIDENCE IN GENERAL
I could write an endless post about confidence and how much I struggled with it growing up. Believe me, I was a shy girl who cried on her first day of secondary school and had to get her parents to take her to the class door because I was that terrified. My confidence journey has been a very long one. Ive always been 10 steps behind everyone else in terms of confidence but I have kept going through the years and have finally made it to a point where I feel pretty confident.
Confidence gaining tips
– get a retail/social job
– do something which means you have to meet new people
– join a club
– go to uni
– put yourself out there
All self explanatory really but I know how hard it can be for someone to even just join a club. I wouldn’t join a club if I didn’t have a friend with me. I couldn’t be alone because I was so afraid and had so little confidence. The moral of the story with this one is that, you may have little confidence now but its about finding ways of gaining that confidence. For me it was all about being shy and how to get out of the shyness. It still gets me even today and sometimes my shyness will come out and i’ll go silent. The other day I was at work and there was a group go girls in the que and they were talking and looking at me and then laughing. Im 22 year old woman who shouldn’t worry about those things but I saw them do it and I went back into my shy hole and genuinely felt like I was back at school. What was it about me that they had to talk about? am I ugly? do you recognise me from my blog? is it that you just wanna laugh at me? all these thoughts went through my head. I still get it. So if you’re struggling with confidence, you’ll get there I promise. You just have to go at your own pace. One day you’ll look back and realise how far you’ve come and you’ll be like woaaaaaaah. I cried on the first day of school but look at me now!
I dont know if this will be of any help to anyone but I just wanted to show you lovelies that I haven’t had it easy when it comes to self confidence and its actually been a bit of a battle for me. You wouldn’t think it I know. Some people will have had bigger struggles in life and this will seem like nothing but its important to remember that we all struggle we all have our own problems and you have to be mindful of that. You don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors. It works the same for not only confidence but with everything. Confidence will always be knocked and you’ll feel low but its about teaching yourself ways to bring it back up. I could tell you millions of things that might make you feel better. But you know you and you have to find whats best for you.
Just remember that you are amazing and you have such an incredible opportunity to be on this planet. You’re the only you and yes there might be someone who looks just like you but their different. We’re all individuals trying to live life to the full. You’re beautiful and lucky and thats so exciting.
Just be you.